Since I love talking about myself so much

There’s pretty much nothing I like more than answering these kind of questionaires. I was in my glory back in the day when people would fill these out on Myspace and post them as a bulletin. It’s so funny how shaped our memories are by technology, or lack thereof. There was no fighting it when you grew up in the 90s.

Anyway, here goes:

1) Who was the last person you held hands with? My husband. That’s a dumb question.
2) Are you loud, outgoing or shy? I’d say I’m all three at different times. I’m certainly introverted, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to carry on a conversation. I’ve had to talk to people at work for 13 years now. And by nature I really am a loud person, but it takes a certain something to bring out my true self, and it’s a something most people lack.
3) Who are you looking forward to seeing? Well, I’m sure I’ll see my best friend some times around the winter holidays. She tends to come back into the state to see her parents. I also always wonder when I’ll see my mom again. It’s hard to say, because I don’t see anything changing. Like…either my dad has to die, or my mom has to leave him. Those are the only options anymore, and it’s not like I can make either of those come about on my own. He doesn’t live a healthy lifestyle, and he’s so mentally unwell….that wears on a person physically  too doesn’t it? I mean look at my mom.  She sent me a card with a $50 check, money I KNOW she can’t spare, and seeing her handwriting made me cry. So there’s that. That was Thursday.
4) Are you easy to get along with? Yes, for the most part I’m going to do what is necessary to be as go-with-the-flow, least-abrasive as I can. I HATE it when people are contentious because they seem to enjoy it or something. I don’t get it. BUT, there are times when someone pushes me to a certain point or is just being a certain level of insufferably annoying, and I can’t take it anymore. I do have a breaking point, it’s just harder to get than most people who have one.
5) Have you ever given up on someone, but then gone back to him or her? No. Not my style at all. Especially if this is implied to be a romantic situation with this other person. I have this “fool me once…” attitude towards dating assholes. But, there were a few times that I wondered if my best friend and I would ever be close again. We never had it out or anything, but there were times we definitely drifted. But I hadn’t given up, but I wondered what would become of things.
6) If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Yes, I am sure that he would if I needed him to, but it would be excessively cruel of me to do such a thing. Just given how he doesn’t drink at all. And honestly I’m trying to not drink as well. Because, I mean lets face it I clearly have a drinking problem. I’m not in denial I just always avoid talking about it…. …. …. wait.
7) Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Okay that’s a creepy thing to ask someone whose married. And yes, of course.
8) Who from the opposite sex is on your mind? No one. I’m thinking about how I need to type and print new recipes.
9) Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? If a person asked me this I would be like “You haven’t read my blog, have you?”
10) Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? If myself doesn’t count, my husband then.
11) What does your most recent text say? Discussing with my best friend how I locked my keys in my car and left it running earlier today at the credit union. So humiliating. I had to wait an hour and pay this shady seeming locksmith $95.
12) How do you feel about abortion? Okay wow this survey is starting to get weird. But it should be legal, and accessible for everyone. That’s all that matters about how  feel about it.
13) Do you like big crowds of people? Two reactions: NO! and WHO answers yes to this? I get up at 7am on my one day to sleep in per week to get to the grocery store before the crowds roll in.
14) Do you believe in luck and miracles? Well those two things are very different. I don’t think luck is so real as karma/the universe trying to tell you something. Miracles…uh….I guess? Sometimes miraculous things happen I guess.
15) What good thing happened this summer? Well, things got SO bad between my husband and myself that they had nowhere to go but on some improvement. And we both had the opportunity to tell the other EVERYTHING that was bothering us. And on another note I also finally started working out regularly, so that’s something. And two weeks ago my husband started a job that pays more than my job. This will be the first time in our entire relationship that he’s making more money than me.
16)  Would you kiss the last perosn you kissed again? Uh…yes. Again, is this for high schoolers?
17) Do you think there is life on other planets? Yeah probably.
18) Do you still talk to your first crush? Okay yeah this is for children.
19) Do you like bubble baths? YES. I love baths in general. I was just talking yesterday about how I so desperately desire a fancy/huge bathtub one day.
20) Do you like your neighbors? Yeah they two houses on either side both have cool people living in them. The people across the street need to take better care of their dog, but that’s about it.
21) What are your bad habits? I always really crave dessert after dinner. Cracking my knckles and a bunch of other joints all the time. All the weed. I’m physically dependent on La Croix. I get really pissed and angry as a reaction to any level of stress and I can only be so good at controlling that. Past bad habits include smoking (cigarettes, cigarillos and hookah) and drinking (mostly beer, though dabbled with vodka and rum at different times too). I grind my teeth but that’s while I sleep so what am I to do about that one? OH yeah, and sometimes I can’t control myself from talking to myself. I don’t realize I’m doing it until I’m already doing it. I just say what I’m thinking, some random word or phrase that’s running through my mind. It’d be creepy and confusing to hear me do it, I’ve gathered.
22) Where would you like to travel? I like going to Chicago. I’d like to see New York City and Amsterdam and London and Paris and Venice at some point. I would also like to just go to a resort in a very warm places with a lot of beaches and do nothing for a week. I’ve literally like never actually vacationed in my life. If you take out the places I went with school or Girl Scouts or Youth Group, there’s nothing left. We didn’t go on a honeymoon because when we got married we were both in college (I was in my last semester of my MA) and living paycheck to paycheck. The New Years after we got married we spent in Chicago, but it fucking sucks being in that city in December…let me tell you.
23) Do you have trust issues? Not, not really. I probably should.
24) Favorite part of your daily routine? Getting high before work. Getting high after work. Getting high after exercising. Getting high while writing. Fuck, noticing the pattern.
25) What body part are you most uncomfortable with? Like, how it looks or in general? When I’m feeling awkward, I DON’T know what to do with my hands and they just start moving and gesturing largely out of my control. I hate it. But, I love my hands, they’re well-sculpted and lovely. I guess if I could change a body part I’d get lip injections. I am classically thin-lipped. When I smile with teeth my upper lip is almost gone. But I try to minimize needles to the face, and lip injections aren’t even permanent.
26) Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? It’d be nice to be several shades darker. I’m not pasty-pale, but I’m only about 6 colors in from the palest skin make up they make, if that helps at all.
27) What do you do when you wake up? Shut off alarm, shower, dress, etc, all the things needed to get ready for work
28) Who are you most comfortable around? My husband, definitely. I’m uncomfortable around literally every other person. Even my best friend, because sometimes I struggle for things to talk about with her, because like if so much times goes by between visits you kind of forget what’s all happened. But we have been talking more via text lately so that’s been cool.
29) How many of your exes have told you they regret breaking up? Uhhhh, none of them. Ha! Is that bad? I did have one guy that I sort-of dated (we had sex, obviously) try to ask me out like over two years after he totally took a shit all over me – he made it seem like he was looking for a relationship and I was going to be his girlfriend, only to start acting really shitty like four days in and then Myspace message me that he was still in love with his ex (I was 19, his ex was a 17 year old still in high school, he was 21….it was fucked). HE thought I’d give him another chance. Like….nooooooooo way, buddy, fool me twice, right? Also, I’ll admit it, it was super satisfying to reject him.
30) Do you ever want to get married? I am, it’s been almost 3 years (the 27th of this month) and I’m glad I did it.
31) Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? For sure.
32) Which celebrities would you like to have a threesome with? Jason Momoa and Cillian Murphy. I had the names ready.
33)  Spell your name with your chin : cxaasasajked
34) Do you play sports? Sportball? No. No, hard pass.
35) Would you rather live without TV or music? Music. I love TV a whole lot, and that’s what I use to distract myself when I’m exercising.
36) Have you ever liked someone and not told them? Fucking duh? Is there someone who ALWAYS tells the person??
37) What do you say during awkward silence? I use “Well, anyway, ” Or “OH man,” or “Right?”
38) Do you think age matters in relationships? Fuck yes. I have weird dad issues so I ONLY date people within my immediate age group. My husband is 9 months younger than me.
39) What are your favorite stores to shop in? I hate shopping. I like Amazon, and I buy groceries because I like cooking but that’s it, and I don’t enjoy the process for one moment.
40) Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? In general/with life, yes. With me? Shit no.

Well that was fun sort of. If you were diligent and just read that you’ll understand I am having a rough day. But it could’ve been worse.


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